MONICA: A European State of Mind

A few weeks ago, I had the amazing opportunity to visit one of my best friends who had quit her job, and bought a one-way ticket to Europe to explore the world (amazing. I know.). The two of us were attached at the hip throughout college, so as she planned her trip, we day dreamed about what it would be like if I could have joined her. We fantasized about walking through cobblestone streets together, getting lost in unfamiliar cities, stumbling upon beautiful little café’s, eating the most perfect pastries & meals, and meeting interesting people from all over the world. I never thought that half way through her trip, we would actually find a way to make it happen. One super cheap (& somewhat risky) plane ticket later, I found myself convinced into a spontaneous trip to Europe. Yes – convinced! After recently getting engaged, starting to plan a wedding, attempting to juggle a career, and making sure I could still support my future hubby through Spring Training, I had no plans of leaving the country. But, I am lucky that even in the midst of his own chaos, Marco still puts me first, and insisted that I should take this opportunity. My family and boss were supportive as well…. so off I went! Plus, what kind of friend would I be if I let my best friend backpack alone, right? ;)

I love everything about Europe. In college, I studied abroad for a semester in Florence, Italy, and fell in love with the people, the FOOD, the architecture, the lifestyle, the culture, the wine, and… did I mention the food? I couldn’t wait to experience all my favorite things about Europe all over again, to explore new cities & countries, and now with my best friend by my side. I flew into Spain, where Rae and I met, and after screaming and jumping up & down that this was actually happening (!!!), we began our two weeks of traveling together in Madrid, with plans to make our way to Portugal and back to Barcelona. We walked cobble stone streets, we got lost in giant street markets, stumbled upon amazing buildings & gardens, sat in café’s over the tastiest pastries and coffee, and experienced each city by the food & the best 3-euro bottles of wine we could find. We traveled to Lisbon, Portugal, city of 7 hills, where we fell in love with the custard pies, the vibrant locals, and the amazing views of the old buildings & red roofs bordering the water. In Barcelona, we enjoyed more wine, the architecture, the beaches, dips in the Mediterranean Sea, and truly met people visiting from all over the world. Everywhere we went, we tried to get to know each environment authentically, by just being - by watching and listening, adapting to their culture, and taking in everything happening around us.

Europeans are completely immersed in every part of their life they want to be in. They are extremely affectionate – couples stopping in the middle of the streets to kiss each other passionately, not worrying about what others may think. They put their loved ones before anything else – taking 2 hour lunch breaks and closing their businesses to spend real time with their families in the middle of the day, instead of making the extra dollar. In Europe, when you sit down at a restaurant for dinner, you have the table for the night with no expected turn around time - Europeans, especially Italians, treat dinner like an event to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, with no pressure or plans to rush off anywhere else. The alcohol laws are lenient in every European country I’ve been in, because it is not like their culture to abuse it, or push the limits too far. They walk everywhere because, what’s the rush? The buildings, homes, & streets are old because they are less concerned with having the newest and best on the market. They do not care if they are the most advanced country or not. To me, they just seem content. I may not understand the language, but I can feel the energy of the city and the happiness of the people.

In my opinion, Europeans live the most amazing lifestyle. Before I left for Europe the first time, to study abroad, I met a man who gave me some great insight. He was born in Italy, and raised by his very Italian family in the U.S. but spent every summer visiting family back in Italy. He looked very Italian, and spoke fluent Italian. He told me of a time when he was walking with someone in Europe, speaking in Italian, when the person stopped him to ask if he was American. He said, “Yes, how did you know?” The other person responded saying he could tell because while they were walking and having a conversation, the man was also eating his croissant, which was very “American of him.” That minor detail gave away that this man was raised in the U.S. because he was eating on the go, and in a rush, while Europeans are more likely to take the time to sit and enjoy their food, one bite at a time.

In the U.S., it’s so often that we get caught up in things that don’t deserve our time or attention or stress. We move through life so quickly, focusing on the next advancement or step forward, often trying to do a million things at once. It’s certainly not a bad thing to be focused on the next level of accomplishment, but it’s also an extremely good thing to “stop and smell the roses.”

I strive to adopt this lifestyle, and I am so thankful that my trip a few weeks ago reminded me of that. When I arrived in Spain to meet Rae, I was ecstatic to be there, but I came in hot with my plans & expectations. I had a perfect plan set out of the cities we would visit, and what we would see & do in each one, determined to make the most of every minute I had in Europe. For the first few days, I was so set on my perfect plan, that I almost missed what was happening around me. Thankfully, I had a friend who had been traveling for months before I arrived, and had totally adopted the European mentality. Rae reminded me not to worry about how each day would play out and to just enjoy the moments we had. She was right. How can I appreciate the vibrancy of the Spanish town I’m in when my head is buried in a map, focusing on finding the “perfect” espresso or paella? How can I be fully present each day when I am so worried about how little time is left? We cannot be so set on a plan or rushing off to what’s next that we miss the beauty of where we are in this moment.

My spontaneous trip to Europe with Rae seemed to come at a perfect time for me. This year, as I have been splitting my time between my hometown of Seattle & wherever Marco is, I often find myself thinking ahead, or focusing on wherever I left a piece of my heart last. I am constantly attempting to be in two places at once, which leaves me spreading myself thin, and feeling like I am not adequately there for either parts of my life. Marco and I are in the middle of the longest period of time we will ever spend apart again. I miss him every day, but I am committed to taking advantage of this special time I have with my family & friends.

So this week, as I know my mind will wander to the MLB Trade Deadline and what that could mean for us, I won’t let myself compromise the time I have with my other loved ones in Seattle. As I continue this crazy year, spending my days at home in Seattle or my other home (corny alert) in Marco’s arms, I will continue to focus on enjoying the moment, the scenery, the pastries … or in my everyday case, the “baseball ride” all as it comes.

"Live, travel, adventure, bless… and don't be sorry." - Jack Kerouac. 

JACKIE: Jackie & Julia

Recently, I have really developed a love for cooking. Now this may or may not be because I love food and this growing babe gives me an insatiable appetite, but every week I look so forward to my grocery trips and getting creative with new recipes.

My mom is probably my biggest real-life inspiration when it comes to cooking. You know how people have those secret talents, where you become friends with them and then find out they’re actually a super gifted musician or artist or something like that? Well, my mom’s secret talent is in entertaining and cooking. I’m not even kidding, that woman will come home after a long day at work without a plan for dinner, take a peek at her pantry and fridge, and throw together a delicious meal day after day. Every year for Christmas, she makes an amazing menu that usually includes some really fancy dishes like chestnut soup and Yorkshire pudding (which is absolutely DELICIOUS). She loves having people over for dinner, and always makes people feel so warm and welcomed by the atmosphere she creates and food she makes.

         

To be honest, cooking is really a family affair for us. With a huge extended family, we love to have big parties and love to plan delicious food and drinks. Every year we have our traditional Mexican tamale-making day (or days) before the holidays, when the women in my family all get together and make typically around 80 dozen tamales. There are so many great things about this tradition; it’s a time for all of us to get together and everyone has a different job—making tamales is a lot of work and we have a pretty efficient system to get it done. Not only do we have the opportunity to carry on a long tradition and have meaningful and productive time together, but we have a long list of friends and family who we make the tamales for as gifts. Although we freeze lots of them and reap the benefits of our hard work all year long, tamale making is also something bigger than ourselves.

I really think that my love for cooking comes from the same place within my heart as my love for nursing, although in a different capacity. Cooking for others is a way to care for them, a way of saying ‘I love you’. 

Well a few days ago, I was watching one of my favorite movies, “Julie & Julia”.  I love this movie for so many reasons (not just because Meryl Streep is one of my favorites and completely SLAYS her role as Julia Child), but I’d say the reason I love it so much is because I find it so relatable. Julia’s husband Paul worked for the government, and his job took them to France for several years. In one beginning scene, Julia and Paul are enjoying dinner in Paris, and Julia expresses to her husband the very same thing I have been experiencing myself over the past several months…

“Well what should I do…? Shouldn’t I find something to do…? It’s not me to not do anything.”

And Paul asks her, “What is it that you really like to do?”

“Eat!”

I mean, I don’t want to jump the gun here and say that Julia and I are soul sisters, but she’s definitely my kind of gal.

So soon after, Julia decides to start taking cooking classes in Paris, which eventually leads to the development of her renowned cookbook “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” and a very successful culinary career.

Now I don’t think I have any real desire to begin a culinary career or write a cookbook, but I so relate to her experiences—following her husband to live in a new place, and trying to find her own identity and where she fits in a new world.  I know that once our child is born, my role in the world will be much better established and I will feel much more purpose each day. 

At this moment, I feel that I’m in a waiting place, anticipating and looking forward to what is to come. So I fill my time best I can with things that I love to do, and embrace this waiting period before our baby is here and I have less time to do these things. For now, I’m expanding my hobby horizons, spending a little bit too much money on groceries (sorry, hubby!), and pursuing my love for cooking with the help of my mama and my awesome Food Network culinary instructors Giada, Ina, and Trisha! So stay tuned, maybe sometime I'll feel good enough about some of my dishes to share them on here with all of you! 

Bon appétit!

ALLISON: My Baseball Wife Life

The term "baseball wife" has many connotations- some positive and unfortunately, many negative. Frequently this version of wife life is thought of as a permanently glamorous life when in fact, even for the woman married to the highest paid player in the game, I can guarantee you being married to a baseball player is not always perfect hair and makeup, tinted windowed SUVs and nannies. There's about a two month off-season window to get married- say goodbye to spring weddings. There is no guarantee that your husband will be around for the birth of your children- plan accordingly. Vacations have to be planned around the major holidays since those months are the only ones without baseball. Every baseball wife embodies their role in a different way as to best support their family and THAT is what I think is so admirable and unique about this job. 

For those of you who don't know me that well, I'm naturally sort of a control freak. Or how do people say that the nice way… I'm naturally a "Type A" personality, let's put it that way. I like to plan. I like routines. I like stability. All of that pretty much flew out of the window in December of 2010 when I met my (now) sweet husband. If you would have told me nearly 5 years ago that I would be traveling around the country, living in small towns, watching him play baseball and not knowing for sure where I would be living tomorrow, I would have told you to stop drinking so heavily.

Adam and I started dating when I was a senior and he was a freshman in college. Call me a cougar or a cradle-robber if you will, but I prefer puma if you MUST categorize. I was fortunate enough to work at our alma mater, UCLA, while he was finishing up his career there which allowed me to be by his side for some of our now most memorable times. It also made me feel like I kind of got to do college twice- bonus! The fact that I spent almost three years working a full-time job before Adam started his pro career played a HUGE part in why we were comfortable with me traveling with him during baseball season. In fact, me not traveling with him was never really an option that we seriously considered. No matter how strong your relationship is, spending nearly 6 months out of the year apart is going to be VERY challenging and we just knew that the long distance life wasn't going to be for us. There are so many couples that aren't in a position to be together for baseball season- we consider ourselves lucky.

One of the biggest things I have learned in the last eighteen months or so on the road is how to be comfortable being uncomfortable which, like I said earlier is definitely not my natural tendency. Our lives are ever-changing and "stability" is not a word commonly used in a sentence along with "minor league baseball." For me, a big part of being comfortable in uncomfortable situations is working in whatever town we live in. Fortunately for me, there are ALWAYS little girls wanting to learn gymnastics. I grew up in a gym. I learned in a gym. I developed so many of the personality traits that have made me who I am as a person, in a gym. So, for me that is one of my comfort zones. The vault, bars, beam and floor are going to be the same no matter where I am and that makes me feel like me. I've been lucky enough to coach in every town that we have lived in and not only does it provide extra income but it also gives me a sense of purpose, schedule and stability.

From what I have learned and experienced, it is incredibly important to keep a strong sense of self while your husband is a professional athlete, especially in the minor league baseball system since the road to the top is a much longer and more complicated process than most other pro sports. While our guys are scratching and clawing 9 hours a day for 6 months out of the year (all while getting paid below minimum wage and sleeping on the floors of buses) to continue moving up, it is very easy to get completely consumed by the game and by your husband's performance. Suddenly every poor at-bat, every home run given up and every slump seems like the end of the world. You start living and dying by the game. So, then not only is your dude frustrated and stressed but you could be unintentionally projecting your concerns about his career (and therefore a portion of your future lives together) onto him. The journey to the big leagues is already hard enough, you have to take everything as it comes and try to appreciate the adventure that you're on.

Keeping my sense of self includes keeping my daily workout routine, coaching/working as well as creating a comfortable home for me and my husband. Every marriage is different, but for us, me being fully supportive of my husband during season doesn't necessarily mean having my butt in the seats every single night, especially since he only pitches once every five days. I usually don't go on road trips. I may not even be at every home game. The way I fully support Adam during season is equal parts being at his games AND what I do away from the field. Having our own apartment (that I try to make feel as homey as possible!) to come home to at night, spending mornings together, eating dinner together-even if it's at 11pm- and having our dog, Max, with us is what I feel makes me a supportive baseball wife. 

Another less talked about aspect of being a baseball wife, is being supportive of your fellow baseball girls! Let's face it, unless you're living this lifestyle (whether you're traveling or not) it is VERY difficult to understand the many challenges, successes and stress of supporting a baseball-playing husband. Whether it's sitting at games, getting together for a workout or exploring the town that you are living in, it is so comforting to be surrounded by women that are experiencing (or have experienced in the past) the same ups and downs that you are. One of the best things about social media is that the supportive community of baseball women doesn't just stop at the ladies who are on the same team that you are! It's so easy to connect with tons of other gals via Facebook, Twitter, etc. and ask for advice or provide comfort. There are so many strong, independent women throughout the sport that make me proud to be a part of the community. 

ALL of that being said, Adam does an incredible job of supporting me along this crazy journey as well. Having a successful baseball marriage is not one-sided, as much as it sometimes is viewed as such. Minor league baseball season is compromised of 140 games which, doesn't leave a lot of time for Adam to always "physically" do supportive things but he is my emotional support system. He is so emotionally level and knows exactly how to mitigate most of my apprehension that comes along with moving, finding new jobs and making new friends several times a year. He asks me about my work every day. He wakes up earlier than most of the other guys so that we can spend time together before he leaves for the field. He hustles out of the clubhouse at night so that we can get home to make dinner. One of the things I appreciate most about Adam during baseball season is his amazing ability to leave baseball at the field. He could give up nine earned runs in one inning or throw a complete game shutout, but once he leaves the field, you wouldn't have a clue as to which occurred that night. I'm not even sure he knows how much that helps me during season, but it just makes our life at home feel so… normal.

Not only has traveling with my husband over the last year and a half allowed me to be on the sidelines (literally) to watch him chase his dream but it has also helped me grow SO MUCH as a person, as a friend and as a wife. The perspective and experience that I have gained has helped me discover that I CAN just roll with the punches and find positives among setbacks. I've lived in places I never would have dreamed of and met incredible people that I would have never crossed paths with and they will forever be a part of our story. This lifestyle has taught me to expect the unexpected and for that, I am thankful.