MONICA: A European State of Mind

A few weeks ago, I had the amazing opportunity to visit one of my best friends who had quit her job, and bought a one-way ticket to Europe to explore the world (amazing. I know.). The two of us were attached at the hip throughout college, so as she planned her trip, we day dreamed about what it would be like if I could have joined her. We fantasized about walking through cobblestone streets together, getting lost in unfamiliar cities, stumbling upon beautiful little café’s, eating the most perfect pastries & meals, and meeting interesting people from all over the world. I never thought that half way through her trip, we would actually find a way to make it happen. One super cheap (& somewhat risky) plane ticket later, I found myself convinced into a spontaneous trip to Europe. Yes – convinced! After recently getting engaged, starting to plan a wedding, attempting to juggle a career, and making sure I could still support my future hubby through Spring Training, I had no plans of leaving the country. But, I am lucky that even in the midst of his own chaos, Marco still puts me first, and insisted that I should take this opportunity. My family and boss were supportive as well…. so off I went! Plus, what kind of friend would I be if I let my best friend backpack alone, right? ;)

I love everything about Europe. In college, I studied abroad for a semester in Florence, Italy, and fell in love with the people, the FOOD, the architecture, the lifestyle, the culture, the wine, and… did I mention the food? I couldn’t wait to experience all my favorite things about Europe all over again, to explore new cities & countries, and now with my best friend by my side. I flew into Spain, where Rae and I met, and after screaming and jumping up & down that this was actually happening (!!!), we began our two weeks of traveling together in Madrid, with plans to make our way to Portugal and back to Barcelona. We walked cobble stone streets, we got lost in giant street markets, stumbled upon amazing buildings & gardens, sat in café’s over the tastiest pastries and coffee, and experienced each city by the food & the best 3-euro bottles of wine we could find. We traveled to Lisbon, Portugal, city of 7 hills, where we fell in love with the custard pies, the vibrant locals, and the amazing views of the old buildings & red roofs bordering the water. In Barcelona, we enjoyed more wine, the architecture, the beaches, dips in the Mediterranean Sea, and truly met people visiting from all over the world. Everywhere we went, we tried to get to know each environment authentically, by just being - by watching and listening, adapting to their culture, and taking in everything happening around us.

Europeans are completely immersed in every part of their life they want to be in. They are extremely affectionate – couples stopping in the middle of the streets to kiss each other passionately, not worrying about what others may think. They put their loved ones before anything else – taking 2 hour lunch breaks and closing their businesses to spend real time with their families in the middle of the day, instead of making the extra dollar. In Europe, when you sit down at a restaurant for dinner, you have the table for the night with no expected turn around time - Europeans, especially Italians, treat dinner like an event to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, with no pressure or plans to rush off anywhere else. The alcohol laws are lenient in every European country I’ve been in, because it is not like their culture to abuse it, or push the limits too far. They walk everywhere because, what’s the rush? The buildings, homes, & streets are old because they are less concerned with having the newest and best on the market. They do not care if they are the most advanced country or not. To me, they just seem content. I may not understand the language, but I can feel the energy of the city and the happiness of the people.

In my opinion, Europeans live the most amazing lifestyle. Before I left for Europe the first time, to study abroad, I met a man who gave me some great insight. He was born in Italy, and raised by his very Italian family in the U.S. but spent every summer visiting family back in Italy. He looked very Italian, and spoke fluent Italian. He told me of a time when he was walking with someone in Europe, speaking in Italian, when the person stopped him to ask if he was American. He said, “Yes, how did you know?” The other person responded saying he could tell because while they were walking and having a conversation, the man was also eating his croissant, which was very “American of him.” That minor detail gave away that this man was raised in the U.S. because he was eating on the go, and in a rush, while Europeans are more likely to take the time to sit and enjoy their food, one bite at a time.

In the U.S., it’s so often that we get caught up in things that don’t deserve our time or attention or stress. We move through life so quickly, focusing on the next advancement or step forward, often trying to do a million things at once. It’s certainly not a bad thing to be focused on the next level of accomplishment, but it’s also an extremely good thing to “stop and smell the roses.”

I strive to adopt this lifestyle, and I am so thankful that my trip a few weeks ago reminded me of that. When I arrived in Spain to meet Rae, I was ecstatic to be there, but I came in hot with my plans & expectations. I had a perfect plan set out of the cities we would visit, and what we would see & do in each one, determined to make the most of every minute I had in Europe. For the first few days, I was so set on my perfect plan, that I almost missed what was happening around me. Thankfully, I had a friend who had been traveling for months before I arrived, and had totally adopted the European mentality. Rae reminded me not to worry about how each day would play out and to just enjoy the moments we had. She was right. How can I appreciate the vibrancy of the Spanish town I’m in when my head is buried in a map, focusing on finding the “perfect” espresso or paella? How can I be fully present each day when I am so worried about how little time is left? We cannot be so set on a plan or rushing off to what’s next that we miss the beauty of where we are in this moment.

My spontaneous trip to Europe with Rae seemed to come at a perfect time for me. This year, as I have been splitting my time between my hometown of Seattle & wherever Marco is, I often find myself thinking ahead, or focusing on wherever I left a piece of my heart last. I am constantly attempting to be in two places at once, which leaves me spreading myself thin, and feeling like I am not adequately there for either parts of my life. Marco and I are in the middle of the longest period of time we will ever spend apart again. I miss him every day, but I am committed to taking advantage of this special time I have with my family & friends.

So this week, as I know my mind will wander to the MLB Trade Deadline and what that could mean for us, I won’t let myself compromise the time I have with my other loved ones in Seattle. As I continue this crazy year, spending my days at home in Seattle or my other home (corny alert) in Marco’s arms, I will continue to focus on enjoying the moment, the scenery, the pastries … or in my everyday case, the “baseball ride” all as it comes.

"Live, travel, adventure, bless… and don't be sorry." - Jack Kerouac.