ALLISON: My Baseball Wife Life

The term "baseball wife" has many connotations- some positive and unfortunately, many negative. Frequently this version of wife life is thought of as a permanently glamorous life when in fact, even for the woman married to the highest paid player in the game, I can guarantee you being married to a baseball player is not always perfect hair and makeup, tinted windowed SUVs and nannies. There's about a two month off-season window to get married- say goodbye to spring weddings. There is no guarantee that your husband will be around for the birth of your children- plan accordingly. Vacations have to be planned around the major holidays since those months are the only ones without baseball. Every baseball wife embodies their role in a different way as to best support their family and THAT is what I think is so admirable and unique about this job. 

For those of you who don't know me that well, I'm naturally sort of a control freak. Or how do people say that the nice way… I'm naturally a "Type A" personality, let's put it that way. I like to plan. I like routines. I like stability. All of that pretty much flew out of the window in December of 2010 when I met my (now) sweet husband. If you would have told me nearly 5 years ago that I would be traveling around the country, living in small towns, watching him play baseball and not knowing for sure where I would be living tomorrow, I would have told you to stop drinking so heavily.

Adam and I started dating when I was a senior and he was a freshman in college. Call me a cougar or a cradle-robber if you will, but I prefer puma if you MUST categorize. I was fortunate enough to work at our alma mater, UCLA, while he was finishing up his career there which allowed me to be by his side for some of our now most memorable times. It also made me feel like I kind of got to do college twice- bonus! The fact that I spent almost three years working a full-time job before Adam started his pro career played a HUGE part in why we were comfortable with me traveling with him during baseball season. In fact, me not traveling with him was never really an option that we seriously considered. No matter how strong your relationship is, spending nearly 6 months out of the year apart is going to be VERY challenging and we just knew that the long distance life wasn't going to be for us. There are so many couples that aren't in a position to be together for baseball season- we consider ourselves lucky.

One of the biggest things I have learned in the last eighteen months or so on the road is how to be comfortable being uncomfortable which, like I said earlier is definitely not my natural tendency. Our lives are ever-changing and "stability" is not a word commonly used in a sentence along with "minor league baseball." For me, a big part of being comfortable in uncomfortable situations is working in whatever town we live in. Fortunately for me, there are ALWAYS little girls wanting to learn gymnastics. I grew up in a gym. I learned in a gym. I developed so many of the personality traits that have made me who I am as a person, in a gym. So, for me that is one of my comfort zones. The vault, bars, beam and floor are going to be the same no matter where I am and that makes me feel like me. I've been lucky enough to coach in every town that we have lived in and not only does it provide extra income but it also gives me a sense of purpose, schedule and stability.

From what I have learned and experienced, it is incredibly important to keep a strong sense of self while your husband is a professional athlete, especially in the minor league baseball system since the road to the top is a much longer and more complicated process than most other pro sports. While our guys are scratching and clawing 9 hours a day for 6 months out of the year (all while getting paid below minimum wage and sleeping on the floors of buses) to continue moving up, it is very easy to get completely consumed by the game and by your husband's performance. Suddenly every poor at-bat, every home run given up and every slump seems like the end of the world. You start living and dying by the game. So, then not only is your dude frustrated and stressed but you could be unintentionally projecting your concerns about his career (and therefore a portion of your future lives together) onto him. The journey to the big leagues is already hard enough, you have to take everything as it comes and try to appreciate the adventure that you're on.

Keeping my sense of self includes keeping my daily workout routine, coaching/working as well as creating a comfortable home for me and my husband. Every marriage is different, but for us, me being fully supportive of my husband during season doesn't necessarily mean having my butt in the seats every single night, especially since he only pitches once every five days. I usually don't go on road trips. I may not even be at every home game. The way I fully support Adam during season is equal parts being at his games AND what I do away from the field. Having our own apartment (that I try to make feel as homey as possible!) to come home to at night, spending mornings together, eating dinner together-even if it's at 11pm- and having our dog, Max, with us is what I feel makes me a supportive baseball wife. 

Another less talked about aspect of being a baseball wife, is being supportive of your fellow baseball girls! Let's face it, unless you're living this lifestyle (whether you're traveling or not) it is VERY difficult to understand the many challenges, successes and stress of supporting a baseball-playing husband. Whether it's sitting at games, getting together for a workout or exploring the town that you are living in, it is so comforting to be surrounded by women that are experiencing (or have experienced in the past) the same ups and downs that you are. One of the best things about social media is that the supportive community of baseball women doesn't just stop at the ladies who are on the same team that you are! It's so easy to connect with tons of other gals via Facebook, Twitter, etc. and ask for advice or provide comfort. There are so many strong, independent women throughout the sport that make me proud to be a part of the community. 

ALL of that being said, Adam does an incredible job of supporting me along this crazy journey as well. Having a successful baseball marriage is not one-sided, as much as it sometimes is viewed as such. Minor league baseball season is compromised of 140 games which, doesn't leave a lot of time for Adam to always "physically" do supportive things but he is my emotional support system. He is so emotionally level and knows exactly how to mitigate most of my apprehension that comes along with moving, finding new jobs and making new friends several times a year. He asks me about my work every day. He wakes up earlier than most of the other guys so that we can spend time together before he leaves for the field. He hustles out of the clubhouse at night so that we can get home to make dinner. One of the things I appreciate most about Adam during baseball season is his amazing ability to leave baseball at the field. He could give up nine earned runs in one inning or throw a complete game shutout, but once he leaves the field, you wouldn't have a clue as to which occurred that night. I'm not even sure he knows how much that helps me during season, but it just makes our life at home feel so… normal.

Not only has traveling with my husband over the last year and a half allowed me to be on the sidelines (literally) to watch him chase his dream but it has also helped me grow SO MUCH as a person, as a friend and as a wife. The perspective and experience that I have gained has helped me discover that I CAN just roll with the punches and find positives among setbacks. I've lived in places I never would have dreamed of and met incredible people that I would have never crossed paths with and they will forever be a part of our story. This lifestyle has taught me to expect the unexpected and for that, I am thankful.